When You Break Up With The First Person You’ve Ever Loved And It Feels Like Everything’s Falling Apart

I know in my mind it’s not rational, but honestly, I’m scared…

of not being the most special person to you anymore, and vice versa.
of having sex with someone else and it being a horrible disaster. And I’m scared of you having sex with someone and it making what we had less special.
of finding out through Facebook that you’re dating someone new.
of not being able to get you back if I wanted to.
that I’ll never find someone that loves me like you did.
that you have a happier life now that I’m not in it, but I hope one day I can be a big enough person to want that for you.
that you’ll find out about my rebound because I wasn’t ready and I regret it.
that you’ll feel awkward and uncomfortable whenever you see me.
of what your family and friends must think of me.
of you referring to me as your “ex”.
of how you will speak about me and what happened between us.
that your next girlfriend will hate me and that you will let her.
that you will change for the better as you grow up and I will have missed it. But I’m also scared that I was the whole problem, not you.
that I’ll always compare you to any new guy I date, and that you will always out measure him.
that you will be incredibly successful in every aspect of your life while I never seem to fully get my life together.
that you’ll never tell me how you actually feel.
that I’ll never stop feeling like this.